By: Bruce Norwich
Torrential pearls of angel piss beat a steady rhythm on the Jaybird Diner. This ancient eatery was nestled in the bosom of Matanza, Florida. Matanza wasn’t really a town. It was more like a stain between two nowheres that wouldn’t wash out, no matter how hard it rained.
Richie Munday clashed with the pastel booth he sat in. The last forty years had been etched in his face with a jackhammer. A couple faded tattoos adorned his steel cable arms. A gut clung to his muscular frame like a stowaway. His voice was like a bulldozer scooping gravel as he growled, “Goddammit! I said I wanted this steak rare!”
A coffee pot slid in and refilled Richie’s cup. Attached to it was Tanya Wallace, a waitress who made every stitch of her uniform scream with delight. Her apple cheeks framed a hard candy smile.
“You can’t have a minute steak rare. There’s no such thing.” Tanya punctuated her point with a “fuck yourself” wink.
Richie could feel his face getting hot. Some guys were ass men, and some guys were tit men. Tanya had plenty of both. But Richie was, above all things, a silence man. As far as he was concerned, he didn’t shoulder life’s bullshit so some greasy spoon twat could get uppity with him. When he wanted her mouth open, he’d let her know. Considering what he was thinking, he managed to stay rather polite.
“Watch that mouth, darlin’. I ain’t no fun when I get mad.” Tanya raised her eyebrows, assessing Richie the way a gardener would a poisonous spider.
As she turned around, Richie watched her ass swing back and forth. He clapped his hands loud enough to make Tanya’s ears ring. If she insisted on putting on a show, then he would give her the applause she wanted. The diner was empty except for the two of them.
Tanya slid onto the counter and crossed her legs.
“How long you been out of prison?”
Richie turned, shocked. Was it that obvious?
Tanya re-crossed her legs. The motion acted as a ratchet, hiking her skirt further up.
“Nobody eats three courses here unless they just got out. Besides, we’re the first bus stop from Mapleton.”
Richie was starting to sweat. His shirt stuck to the naugahyde booth. He couldn’t understand why he was letting this chick rattle him. Every swingin’ dick in Mapleton talked about getting their first outside meal at the Jailbird Diner…and maybe a waitress for dessert. Now was the time to take what he wanted. It was as simple as that.
Tanya kept her eyebrow cocked. She was clinging to that facial expression like a knife in a dark house. She could tell this man was rough, rougher than the others. She could tell by the way his eyes crawled over her flesh. Her voice lilted.
“So here you are, an old convict with no one to eat with.”
Richie’s face tensed with a studied plan of violence. He had just decided everything he was going to do to her. Tanya responded by arching her back. Her breasts taxed the buttons on her uniform. Her bottom half was so finely toned, it hovered above the counter like it was from the future. Tanya tossed Richie a giggle.
“Sorry about the steak. The cook went home drunk, so I’m the best you got. Cooking like that must be why I’m still single, huh?”
Richie cleared his throat. “You’re still single ‘cause it’s hard to tell when you’re kidding or being a bitch.”
Tanya exhaled an impressed laugh. It wasn’t the first time she’d heard that.
“I’ll get you another steak, on me. Let me just tell my manager.”
She walked into the back room and called out to an unseen protective male.
“Hey Troy, I’m buying a steak for the handsome guy in the booth.”
Tanya stood in the diner’s walk-in freezer. It was empty. Her smartphone buzzed with an alert. A severe storm warning was in effect. The roads were washed out. There was no way the cops would get here in time. A shadow etched its way into Tanya’s view. Richie stood in the doorway. She could almost hear him salivating at the sight of her all alone.
Tanya’s voice cracked. “You can’t be back here.”
Richie licked moist lips.
“Oh no? I thought you might be lonely, since there’s no manager.”
He continued in a voice he knew she would obey.
“I’m gonna need that cell phone.”
Tanya couldn’t respond at first. Richie closed in. His body was actually radiating heat in the cold.
“Come on darlin’. We both want this to go easy.”
As if caught in a trance, Tanya handed over her phone. She uttered the next statement like it would grant her gentle treatment.
“My daddy did a ten year bid.”
Richie snorted, “Shit, that’s a holiday. I did twenty.”
Tanya reloaded her smirk and cocked her eyebrow.
“Oh yeah? That’s a long time with just your hand. Unless you found somebody up there to keep you company.”
Richie didn’t even get mad this time. He had to hand it to her. This little twist was a real fuckin’ carnival ride.
Richie placed his arms against the wall, pinning Tanya between them.
“You like trouble don’t you?”
Tanya slinked out of the arms expertly.
“I like whiskey, and the cook left some back here.”
She grabbed a bottle from the shelf, took a long sip, and closed her eyes as she swallowed. The whiskey burned her throat and warmness swelled from her center. She passed the bottle and locked eyes with Richie.
“You know, we could make a real night out of this…unless you’re the type that doesn’t let a lady enjoy herself.”
Richie had to smile. “And what would your daddy say?”
Tanya pulled on the whiskey. “If he was still alive, he’d know that my taste in men is his fault.”
Richie meant this next statement, but only because he must have been her father’s age.
“I’m sorry he passed.”
Tanya rubbed her shoulders and spoke through chattering teeth.
“It was a long time ago, and he ain’t looking down from the clouds if you know what I mean.”
Thunder and lightning shook the diner. The rain on the ancient tin roof sounded like the tape of a football stadium.The lights flickered on and off. Tanya rubbed her arms harder and hopped up and down.
“I’m freezing my balls off in here. Let’s get you that steak, and then we’ll do whatever you want.”
Richie smiled a wolf’s smile and exited, carrying the whiskey bottle.
In the flickering light of the electric storm, Richie wasted no time ripping the landline out of the wall and emptying the cash register. He pocketed all the money from the till. Richie grinned at Tanya.
“You said whatever I want.”
Tanya just shrugged. It was the gesture of an unimpressed girl on the playground. She set her glass on the counter. “Freshen me up, darlin’.”
Richie poured a robust helping of whiskey. He ogled Tanya’s breasts, legs, ass, and neck while she worked the grille. Tanya spoke over her shoulder, completely aware of the X Ray eyes piercing her.
“I’ll get us some rolls.”
Tanya drained her glass and headed to the refrigerator. Richie poured her another three fingers and called after her.
“When did your daddy do his time? Maybe I knew him.”
Tanya pondered her funhouse mirror image in the fridge’s stainless steel doors. She spoke, watching her distorted mouth reflection make the words. “He died on the inside. They thought he was snitching, but they got it wrong. He was too much of a bastard to be a snitch.”
She turned away from the reflection and fired every syllable of the next few words with precision.
“They drowned him in the laundry room.” Tanya’s words hit their mark and Richie’s face lit up with recognition.
“So, you’re Wallace’s little girl? You grew up real nice.”
Richie winced. That was too fucking bad. “It’s a shame I gotta do this…” Richie stood up, went behind the counter, and grabbed a chef’s knife. As he walked back into the refrigerator, a shotgun blast rippled through the diner. Richie’s body launched backwards and tumbled over the counter. When he landed, his stomach was a split trash bag leaking gore.
Tanya swung her hips as she sauntered towards Richie. She brandished a double barrel Remington Model 1889. One barrel was smoking. Tanya taunted the twisted pile of animal fear that Richie had become.
“This was my daddy’s favorite gun. I imagined this moment a million different ways, but always with this gun.”
Richie’s spaghetti dish of entrails spiraled and sprung around him. He sputtered and gurgled. Terror gripped his voice.
“It wasn’t my fault! I liked your old man! Tanya smiled like a hungry vampire.
“I know…but he had it coming and you were just following orders.”
She closed in on Richie. She was a feline toying with her prey. The steak burned and smoked on the grill.
“That’s what your cellmate said when I scrambled his guts with this gun.”
Richie’s vision was an epileptic swirl of shapes.
“I’m not the guy you really want. I’m just a soldier. Wait, I can tell you who gave the order. I can…”
Tanya shoved the shotgun barrel into Richie’s mouth, reducing his pleas to garbled sucking sounds. His muffled pleas barely overpowered the crackle of breaking teeth. Tanya’s eyes melted into dark pools of rage.
“I know who they are. They’re already dead. You’re my last one, Richie.”
She cocked the second hammer back.”
As Richie was about to have his final thoughts painted onto the wall, a lightning bolt struck the diner, knocking out the power.
The sudden darkness distracted Tanya. Richie grabbed the shotgun barrel and yanked it away from his face. Tanya pulled the trigger, but only put a hole into a nearby booth.
In a fit of animal fury, Richie lunged at Tanya, pulling her down to the ground. He choked her while she struggled to get free from his grasp.
The only light in the diner came from the flames of the burning steak and the strobe effect of lightning flashes.
The two scratched, punched, and clawed on the ground. Richie tried choking the hope out of Tanya, but she reached the chef’s knife and plunged it into his shoulder. The pain sent Richie convulsing like an electric shock.
Tanya wriggled free, but the convict seized her ankle and she tumbled to the floor. Richie pulled the knife out of his shoulder and crawled towards her.
Tanya smashed the whiskey bottle on Richie’s head. The whiskey splattered on the burning stove and Richie screamed as he caught fire. His skin bubbled and the odor of burnt hair thickened the room. The flaming diner swelled with an orange glow.
Tanya grabbed the skillet full of home fries. The palm of her right hand sizzled with the heat of the cast iron. She brought it down on Richie’s head. She swung again and again, smashing Richie’s head until it split and crumbled like a rotten melon.
Tanya stepped back, gasping with relief. Her eyes pulsed and her chest shuddered. She pushed out syrupy, irrational tears. This was it. This was the end. The fire spread to the rest of the diner and she watched Richie’s lifeless body blister in the flames.
She snapped out of her tears and recomposed herself. Nobody was allowed to see this side of her. Tanya opened a broom closet, revealing an imprisoned waitress and cook. They were bound and gagged together. The waitress was missing her uniform. Tanya used the chef’s knife to cut them loose.
“Time to go.”
The waitress and the cook ran out of the diner. Tanya walked off into the thunderstorm and let the rain cool her as the diner burnt to the ground behind her.
